A few Sundays ago, I shared a story about Hannah (my oldest daughter) finishing her 5th grade year. I invited you into my “ugly” heart of what I was thinking and feeling as a parent at the end of a hard year. I confessed my attitude about the time of the awards ceremony only to gain more information in the coming weeks that changed the entire story.
- I had been feeling guilt that I had not acted on my daughter’s behalf to get her removed from that class when she cried at the beginning of the year.
- I had been feeling frustration at the teacher who seemed to be disengaged from the class.
- I had been feeling anger at the principal for knowing the situation, and yet outwardly doing nothing.
Three weeks ago while at youth camp, I received an email from my wife that Hannah’s teacher had been diagnosed with late stage bone cancer the last week of school. For the first time in this situation I saw God. I had only been looking at things from my perspective. In hearing that news, I started to realize once again that Hannah was put into this classroom for a greater lesson. I got lost in wanting my daugther to be the best, to make the perfect grades, and to win all the awards that I almost missed the human lesson or better yet the God lesson. Don’t get me wrong, wanting your kids to do their best is not a sin (“Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through him.” Colossians 3:17), but what I am saying is becareful when we make life all about that!!
This past Thursday, Hannah’s 5th grade teacher passed away. On Friday Pam, Hannah, and I attended her funeral in Manassas. From the tears from the beginning of the school year to the tears of this funeral, revealed to me how much my daughter has really learned this year.
Let’s just say, her dad has not graduated from this school yet either. Still learning,
Todd
Pastor,
Thankyou for the emphasis you are placing on Biblical parenting. It is very confusing sometimes wanting desperately to do the right thing and feeling that you don’t know what it is or how to do it. I am currently reading “Shepherding a Childs Heart” It is on the same page with you as you’re teaching against the “self esteem” jargon and teaching servanthood and selflessness.
In Christ,
Steve Shapiro
Making choices for our children is a difficult task. I also had a child in a class that he did not want to be in, but chose to keep him there. Regret is something you need to feel, but not dwell on. Everything in life has a purpose — good or bad. Hannah’s experience with her teacher is a life lesson that will in time present itself to her and you. P.S. I truly enjoy your blogs and believe you have many more readers than you think.
Todd:
One thing that I took from your story about Hannah’s 5th Grade year was the award she DID recieve for being a “buddy” to a special needs child! Wow! I know you said that you didn’t want to “toot her horn” but it seems to me that something really important was just kind of “brushed over”! Perhaps Hannah was in that class for God’s purpose afterall! How many other children would not necessarily take the time with a child who had special problems or was “different” from them. We try to teach our children to be compassionate and caring and to be open to others that may need a little extra time and understanding. I know acedemics are important but I think the initiative she took reflects a beautiful heart and that she’s growing up to be kind and caring young woman! Good on ya, Hannah!
First, I want to say thank you for sharing this personal story with all of us. It has stuck with me these past couple of weeks. I know that it took a lot of courage to share this with everyone. I really appreciate your openness and honesty. In fact, a very similar situation has recently presented itself with a friend of mine. I kept coming back to your sermon and telling her to fight for her child. We also talked about what could be going on in this person’s life that could cause this situation to occur in the first place. I am very sorry to hear that Hannah’s teacher passed away. I know that it is a very difficult time. I think that you are a wonderful pastor though. I truly look forward to your sermons every Sunday.