This past Sunday I preached on learning to wait on God through Abraham and Sarah’s story (Genesis12-21), and I was reminded of a time in my life in waiting on a promise from God. This is a letter I wrote to friends and family during a season of waiting. Hope you enjoy!
1996
Dear friends and family,
I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you for your prayers and support for Pam and I during this period in our life. At times this moment felt like a never ending trial, but through it all it has been worth every second. Many of you have known Pam and I have been trying to have a baby for two years. These past two years of infertility have strengthened our marriage and our relationship with God more than we would have believed could happen. However, between you and me I have had enough physical exams, and I have seen enough speciman cups to last me a lifetime. Poor Pam, has had two rough bouts with Endometriosis. She had surgery twice, and countless examinations with her doctor.
Last January (2006), I remember it well, it was a Thursday morning and I had 3rd grade students working on gymnastic equipment. As I was spotting students on the uneven bars, Pam showed up unexpected after a morning doctor appointment. Her smile from across the room gave away her secret. We were finally pregnant! This news was too hard to contain because this was an answer to prayer we had prayed for two years. I wanted to make sure God received total credit for this blessing in our life. Anyone I talked to I would simply say, “Praise God”!
God allowed us to enjoy the news for about eight weeks. For some unanswerable we lost our child. Pam and I experienced a pain comparable to nothing either one of us had ever felt. This pain made me sick physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. During this time of mourning is where you helped us up. Your cards, letters, phone calls, prayers, restored our emptiness and refocused us to the big picutre; God and his plans for us. I can honestly say even at our lowest moment, Pam and I were saying “Praise God”. God reminded me that when we look at my life through our circumstances to find Him then we will always come up empty. Pam and I may never be able to answer “the why” of what happened, but we never had to doubt the comfort that came from God.
Well in God’s perfect timing, six weeks after our miscarriage we were blessed with being pregnant again. I am happy to say Pam is miserably pregnant, and the doctor says everything looks great. Throughout this two year situation God has continued to remind us of his promises in the Bible. God has specifically shared with us the story of Hannah praying for a child. This story would comfort us as we would read of her mournfully, and sometimes bitterly praying for a child. Through God’s timing, He gave Hannah a child, and she named him Samuel (1 Samuel 1:1-20)
Pam and I are anxiously awaiting a January 17 due date for our first child. We are excited that you are in our lives to share this blessing with us. Continue to pray for Pam, and Baby Samuel or Hannah, which ever the plans shalls be. But hear one thing, and one thing only from Pam and I during this incredible time, “Praying God for He alone is good!” We love you and thank you,
Todd and Pam
Todd,
That was so sweet what you shared. The message on Sunday spoke to me in a different way that I had never seen with the Story of Abraham and Sarah.
It will be almost 10 years that I have been a single mom. More than anything I wanted to stay married and be the wife God wanted me to be. But for reasons out of my control that was not to be.
God knows I would love to remarry. I have often wondered why God has not allowed that person to come into my life but for what ever reason he has not. So I am learning to just have faith and wait on God’s timming.
I know God did not promise anywhwere in the Bible that I will get to be married so that may never happen and I will learn to be content with what God has blessed me with. I was married happly for nearly 17 years and I have been blessed with 4 wonderful Children from that marriage too.
Sunday’s message just encouraged me to continue to be faithful and wait on God’s timming. And when I feel discouraged just keep the faith. I need to try and not take matters in my own hands as Abraham and Sarah did which can only end in hurt. God can take something that seems impossible and make the possible, I conitnue to be encouragec as we take these steps toward Greater Things.
Wow! Our God is so good. As I was reading the letter, I was thinking I don’t know about losing a baby, but I do know about having a hole left in your heart by divorce. And here is Tamara’s response. However, I was not as patient as her. I tried to take matters in to my own hand and fill that hole with another man instead of God. Sometimes, it’s easy to just look at the happy family at church and not realize the pain we have all been through. I am so humbled by a Father that loves me completely and never lets me down. I am so grateful for my 2 kids (I only had to be in the same room with their father to get pregnant, LOL) Thank you Todd and Pam and Tamara for opening your heart and letting God and me in. Greater Things are already happening all around us, we just have to get out of the way to see!!
I love your story, Pastor Todd and relate to it on many levels. It took my husband and I 10 months to conceive our one and only child. The “trying stage” was beautiful and difficult all in the same. It brought my husband and I closer and deeper in love. It also saddened us just as many times over. But the payoff has been more than an amazing gift from God. We have a precious angel that is more than worth the wait. Our son is going to be 3 in May. We’ve been praying for months again for God to bless our family with another child and thus far we’ve been unsuccessful. But this time, I’m not sad and I’m not trying to control the situation. My husband has interpreted my indifference as me not really wanting to extend our family. We talked just the other day on this subject and I told him I am just that accepting of God’s will that I will not ask or expect more than what God wants for us. There is so much comfort in not being anxious. I’m content either way. God knows this wasn’t the way I ran my life before and I’m so glad I trust in Him now.