Thank you! I tuned back into Mt. Ararat this week to find not only my podcast still working but just finished actually watching the sermon from Sunday. I felt like I was sitting in the FLC again taking the hammerin’ of the Holy Spirit as you preached directly to me once again! I have to say that no matter where I worship on Sundays, Mt Ararat is still home and I truly feel like your words are God’s words to me when I need it. I got it today! “Primal” talked about your heart breaking for what breaks God’s heart and I felt that this morning as you spoke the Truth.

In the time we’ve been here in _________ my family has been shattered by the revelations of my sinful past in the area of pornography. (as recent as last fall) My wife challenged me on it when we arrived here and it’s been a hard road toward restoration ever since. I’ve taken a course called “Valiant Man” that’s opened my eyes to my sin and discussing it with other men helped me have amazing revelations into where it started and what I needed to confess and have God’s forgiveness in. He has been so gracious to allow me to call him Father even after what I’ve done. Now I’ve begun to move from “shamed” to accepting the conviction of my guilt, facing my consequences, and finally being the man God called me to be for my wife and family. God knows all and He knew where we’d end up. My wife and family are a different story. They were all caught off guard by this. I spent weeks living with my in-laws house right after we moved into our first home here. That included not seeing my kids at night and the questions started about why Daddy wasn’t home. Too many clashes to mention, but alot of them were ugly and the direct result of my dishonoring my vows to God and to my wife. It’s felt like a day in day out ride on the scariest rollercoaster in the world that can be up one day and way down the next. My wife’s pain is more excruciating than I would ever have thought possible and her healing is my deepest prayer each day. It’s humbling to think that my wife could love me so much that I could cause this much pain by something I did. But I’ve been praying to God that He loves her through me because when I tried to stand on my own I failed miserably.

Todd, I’m not trying to dump all my stuff on you, truly. I’m trying to encourage you. I wanted you to know that I was this sinful person even though each week God was telling me to change and you stood up yelling for us men to be MEN. The TRUTH has begun to set me free because I’ve finally let go of the sin that was clogging my ears and heart to hear the real TRUTH. And that Truth is what’s always been spoken at Mt Ararat. I wanted to let you know that I am trying to apply daily what you’re preaching about. As a husband, I struggle each day to find the strength from God to get up and try again to do things that will help my wife heal. Many of those days she still shows the after effects of my actions, but I’m trying to do what I promised God I would when I married her. If I could go back 30 years and tell my 12 year old self what God has revealed to me now it would save her the pain and things could be different, but I feel like God’s bringing us through this for a reason.

I’m trying to say thank you for preaching Truth in an area that I spent the last 30 years living in the lies, deceit, and doubts, and kept my sin in the darkness to the point where even when I knew sin was sin I couldn’t pull myself out of it. Being able to bring God’s light into things through confession really helped me, but that’s where it tore through my wife’s heart. I think that even though it’s tough right now that God is going to use this pain to grow us stronger than we were before because I now have the ability to guard my family with a pure heart and without Satan’s reminders of my sin hanging over me. It’s led me to dive deeply into the well of God’s Word and seek His wisdom in helping my family through all of these things. It’s also led me to put up boundaries in areas I thought I had control of in the past.

Please be encouraged! I pray that the men of Mt Ararat will hear the Truth as you speak it through this series and be able to be the men we’re called to be. I wish I could be there in person to encourage you because I know Satan is going to be trying to send alot of stuff to soften God’s voice while you speak His hard truth. I’ll keep you in my prayers daily because I know how important this topic is. When I read “Spoiler Alert” I thought of knowing the end of a movie might always be bad, but I think that because I now know how my story is going to end (knowing I’ve put the 900lb monster on my back in it’s proper place and can truly focus on having a heart for God), the first and second act is easier to handle. Thank you for always being that strong voice in my head (even when it’s a podcast) when I need to be strengthened.

Thanks for leading,

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